Have you ever tried on coats?
In my college years, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. I’d spent all of my middle school and high school career focused on academics and music and I was decent in both, but I was also burnt out. Especially in music. I was a violinist and everyone just assumed that I’d pursue violin in college. I think I even assumed I would until my senior year when I panicked because I realized I didn’t actually want to be a violin performance major. I loved the instrument too much and didn’t want to be one of “those” people who decided to be a performance major and then, as a result of the rigors of the degree, grew to hate the instrument so much that I never picked it up again.
So, instead, I entered college as a computer science major.
Yea, I know. Those two disciplines are kind of on two opposite ends of the academic spectrum which doesn’t make a lot of sense. In my defense, however, I’d taken a computer science course in high school and really enjoyed it. I also did pretty well in it so I figured, hey, why not?
It didn’t last long. In fact, at the beginning of my second semester, I switched to digital and visual media. …and that lasted for a year.
A good fit
You’re probably wondering what this has to do with coats.
Well, if you’ve ever tried on a coat (or several) before, you may relate to testing a few different things to determine whether it fits well. Things like, folding and unfolding your arms at the elbow. Reaching both arms out in front to see how tight the coat feels around the front of the shoulders (and how short the sleeves might be). Buttoning and unbuttoning the front to ensure you can breathe. Bending over at the waist to pick up and set things down. Crossing your arms in front of you to make sure there’s enough “give” in the back. And stretching your arms above your head to make sure the coat didn’t strangle you or cut off circulation in your shoulders.
This is what it was like for me as I changed majors. It was like I was trying each one on for size.
And when I got to business, the fit was good.
Outgrowing
Looking back, it’s also what I did with various jobs. Trying each one on for size. Loving some, hating others, tolerating the rest. But, what I didn’t realize was that the “fit” for the 8-5 world altogether was starting to change. Whereas once, the hierarchy, structure and repetitive nature of corporate work was inviting and satisfying, those same aspects began to feel tighter, more restrictive and less comfortable, with each passing year.
And, eventually, those passing years turned into passing months and then passing days. I kept trying to make the 8-5 life fit again, make it feel good – like I had room to move, to breathe, to grow even – again. But, it wasn’t working.
It was like a coat that is a few seasons too small. I had outgrown it. Not in an “I’m bigger and better now” kind of way but more in a “my interests are just different now” kind of way.
A new season
I still enjoy business and the business world. And, truth be told, I hope that I’m able to maintain some of the skills that I acquired and utilized regularly while working in the corporate setting.
But, I’m also ready to try my hand at doing my own thing, on my own terms, in my own time. I’m ready to be an entrepreneur, whatever that word means for my life, and see how that fits. Who knows, maybe I’ll get into this life and decide that it was just a fad – a seasonal interest only that fits, but doesn’t really suit me – and I’ll crave the comfort of 8-5 again. Maybe I’ll find that it doesn’t fit at all and I’ll go running back to the corporate world, grateful to know that I at least tried the entrepreneur life on for size.
Or, maybe, just maybe, I’ll find that this is the “job” I should have had all along because its fit changes as I change and grows as I grow. Whatever the outcome, I’m excited (and a bit anxious) to see what happens.
How about you?
Have you changed something in your life because it no longer seemed to fit?
Is there something now that might not fit as well as it used to?